Supporting children in building their emotional health and overall well-being will help to build their personal happiness throughout their lives. Here are some ideas to pave the way for healthy conversations with the young people in your life.
Keep Open Conversations About Emotions
Encourage your children to talk about their feelings, whether it’s happiness, excitement, sadness, anger, frustration, or confusion. Let them know it’s okay to have big emotions and you are there to listen without judgement. Use a feelings wheel to introduce a range of emotions.
Create a Calm-Down Plan Together
Help your children identify personal calming tools (deep breathing, squeezing a stress ball, taking a walk, listening to music, talking it out). Practice using these tools when kids are calm so they’re easier to access during difficult moments.
Stick to a Predictable Routine
Consistent routines help kids feel safe and secure, especially during times of change or emotional stress.
Use the “Name it to Tame it” Strategy
When the kids feel overwhelmed, encourage them to name the feeling (I’m mad. I’m sad.) to help them identify their feelings, gain insight into the emotion, and begin the process of self-regulation.
Model Healthy Emotional Responses
Show children how you cope with difficult emotions like frustration or sadness in healthy ways. Kids learn a lot by watching how the adults around them manage emotions.
Encourage Physical Outlets
Activities like swimming, biking, running, even jumping on a trampoline can help release built-up energy and reduce anger and/or anxiety. Taking walks with your children can also encourage side by side conversations.
Offer Journaling or Creative Expression
Provide a notebook or sketchpad and colorful writing utensils for your children to express feelings in private, creative ways.
Check in About Questions and Worries
Let your kids know they can always come to you and/or their support people with questions or worries. Try to be consistent and reassuring about plans, visits, and changes in schedules to avoid unexpected worries.
Read Together
Books like “The Invisible String,” “What to Do When Your Temper Flairs,” “The Rabbit Listened,” and more provide conversation starters for children and can provide you opportunities to talk about challenging subjects.
Acknowledge Feelings When Saying “No“
It can be difficult for a child to hear the word “no” when they are seeking something important to them, yet saying “yes” isn’t always possible. Acknowledge their feelings prior to saying no to help them learn you understand their feelings even though you are setting a boundary.
Model Healthy Boundaries
Showing kids how to set and maintain boundaries is important to their personal safety and growth. Remind them boundaries are important both inside their household and in the community. Clearly communicating expectations, being consistent in enforcing boundaries, and explaining the “why” behind them builds this important skill. Kids will often test boundaries so be patient and empathetic as they learn what is acceptable and unacceptable.
Written by Leila J. Erlandson, MA, LMFT
Trovarti Counseling LLC 