Throughout the world, millions of people have been placed under lockdown due to the quarantine resulting from the coronavirus. Social distancing and isolation are extremely important to stop the spread of the virus, however, for people who are experiencing domestic violence, in many cases, the quarantine is trapping individuals and families in their homes with abusers. It is further isolating them from resources that could provide help.
The situations are complex. First and foremost, domestic violence is about power and control. An abuser uses many ways to establish and maintain authority including economic abuse, intimidation, emotional abuse, isolation, coercion, threats, and blame. The coronavirus adds further complexity to already tense households. Some perpetrators are threatening to throw family members out on the street while other perpetrators are further isolating people from friends, family, and community, financial, and healthcare resources. As work, community organizations, and the capacity to see friends and family has become limited, many people are facing more extreme violence in their homes.
If you are experiencing domestic violence and are able to seek help now, try to do so before further restrictions on movement are implemented. Reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline for services including online chatting or texting that will help you keep your anonymity while you call from home.
You can also contact your local authorities or a therapist in your community to help you determine the best next steps
If you are unable to leave your home, develop a safety plan in the event of an argument or incident of violence. A few things to consider include:
- asking neighbors to call the police if they hear a conflict in your home
- leaving your phone on your person at all times
- staying only in areas of the house with doors and windows
- keeping all of your critical identification including IDs, birth certificates, social security cards, medical records, keys and some cash in a safe place that is easily accessible to you in the event you need to leave quickly
- having a safe word for yourself and or your children to alert someone if you need help
- teaching young children to call 911
- communicating with your children where you will meet if you need to leave home quickly
As communities come together during this unprecedented time, please be vigilant about your friends, family, and neighbors who may be experiencing domestic abuse. Now is a time they may need additional help because we know further isolation can escalate violence.
Remember, we all deserve to be safe.
Written by Leila J. Erlandson, MA, LMFT
Trovarti Counseling LLC 